Friday, September 7, 2012

Friday: My second favorite F word

How is it possible that the second week of school was longer and more brutal than the first?  The little shits have come out of their shells and started showing their true selves, that's how!  No more being scared of everything and trying to impress me with their sweetness.  Four year olds are very deceiving.  Oh and they also managed to infect me with their nasty little germs, sending me home with a lovely bug.  However, it is now Friday, which means a few awesome things.  1) I get to go have a fun loving bitch session with some gal pals as I sip on something that will no doubt be filled to the rim with one of my favorite men (probably Jose)! 2) I am going to be kid free for the weekend.  Now, I miss my babies when they are gone with their dad, but I can't lie and say I don't enjoy the "me" time that I get.  It has taken me a long time to not cry every other Friday when I send them off with him, so instead of feeling bad about my attempts to enjoy my free time, I see it as progress!  I still hate saying goodbye (they are never in as good of hands as they are when with mama), hate that we even have to do it, but I'm getting better! 3) Even though the weather hasn't gotten the memo, it is pretty much "Fall" and that means FOOTBALL baby!  I plan to be glued to the TV all weekend watching.  Gig 'Em Ags!
Anywho, I found this new "product" (via pinterest, of course) that "promised" to make my freshly shaven legs (and I'm assuming other parts) super smooth and to "lock in up to 10% more moisture"!  How could I pass that shit up??  So, I finally found the product at Wal-Mart yesterday, and as soon as the kids were in bed last night, hopped in the shower and got to shavin'!  Afterwards I applied the gel to the necessary areas and couldn't wait to see what happened!  Spoiler alert, the build up to using the gel was way more exciting than actually using it.  This is the fancy gel...

And here's what I found...
1) You will be shinier (and slipperier--wait is that a word??) than an oiled up body builder in a speedo for at least 30 minutes after applying.  Seriously, don't try to sit on a leather sofa because you'll fly off there like you're on a slip-n-slide.  I speak from experience.
2) Tell your significant other what you are using or else you will get the confused look like I did and have him wondering if you are either missing your kids "baby" days, wishing for a baby, or as Amy Farrah Fowler from Big Bang so eloquently put it, trying to smell like a "sexy toddler" (yeah, he went through all of those thoughts and did say I smelled like a ST--which is why I love him)!
3) This crap really DOES work!  My legs were soft and silky (and as of this a.m. still are) and feel f-ing fabulous!  Seriously, I couldn't stop touching myself all night (get out of the gutter people)!
4) There are three other flavors (or scents as normal people call them) and I plan to try them all!
5) Well there is no 5, but I hate even numbers and I couldn't just stop at 4.

Time to slip-n-slide off to school!  Hope the little goobers don't try to touch my shiny legs today.  I'm not above giving out a people's elbow on a Friday!

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