Friday, October 5, 2012

Gag me with a spoon

Last night (ok it was really Wednesday night but I've been slacking this week, bite me) on the way home from the gym, I decided to do something I haven't done in a while.  I asked my man out on a date.  I sent him a text and asked if he was available Friday night and when he said "yes" (as if I expected him to say anything else), I got a lil excited!  It's not that we don't do a lot together, or that we don't go out enough, it's just more fun when there is some actual planning involved.  After we talked about what I had in mind, I started thinking about how good it felt to do something so simple, but that added an always appreciated "spark" to our ordinary everyday life.  I also thought about the fact that I would have never, in a million years, done something like that with my ex.  He would have laughed in my face or probably just pretended like he didn't hear me.  Either way, it wouln't have ended in us going out on a date.  Hence one of the reasons he is now referred to as my "ex" (cue deep dark music).

Aww our 1st Anniversary :)
(Don't worry, that's not my ex bahaha)

Christopher and I have been together for three years, and even our "dull" moments aren't very "dull".  If you know us, you know how ridiculously odd and quirky we can be.  We speak our own language (sometimes random movie/tv quotes, sometimes shit we made up on a whim and even though Mr. Webster himself would cringe, makes perfect sense to us).  We have both had our share of epic failures in the relationship department that have ultimately led us to each other.  I can't speak for him and his past, but I know that after my divorce, I did a lot of soul searching.  As much as I would have enjoyed blaming my ex for all of our problems, I knew he was not the only one at fault (is there a golden ray of light shining on me for admitting that??).  I broke down a lot of things and got to the root of what I thought the problem may have been.  I thought about what I could do to avoid those problems in my future relationship(s), and became a work in progress for my future man (whom I have found).  I still have my downfalls, and I'm sure I am still a repeat offender of old habits, but I am much more aware of those things than I was before.  It also helps that the relationship I have now is 1000% different than the relationship I was in before.  It's actually not even fair to compare the two at all...

He forgot to smile, but this pic isn't about him, look at me! 
I'ma get that body back!

C and I are a team.  He is my best friend.  He is the one person I trust 110%.  And as our long lasting joke goes, "If I had a soul, he would be it's mate".  He makes me want to be a better person.  He makes me want to work hard and fight hard for what we have. 
He is the one person I never knew I always wanted.

Our relationship isn't perfect, it is far from it.  We have our moments, we fight, we are just like every other couple.  But what makes us well, "us", is that we work through the bullshit and always come out better than we were before.  I used to be afrad to express my feelings and say what was really on my heart and mind.  With him, it's not a problem.  I don't always have the guts to say it in person, I sometimes chicken out and spew it out in a text or an e-mail, but the point is, I say what I feel.  And 99.99999% of the time, we work it out immediately.  And more importantly than that, he never makes me feel like what I have said is insignificant.  If it's important to me, it's important to him, period.

Texas is important to I'll wear it :)

I know what it's like to get caught up in the everyday routines of marriage and parenthood, I've been there.  I know what it's like to go days on end where the only conversation you have with your spouse is about why the kids are being so damn loud or what the hell one of you is going to fix them for dinner.  I know what it's like to dread going home because you just can't bear to go through the same effing routine and motions that you go through everyday.  It sucks, and I know.  I couldn't fix those problems in my marriage.  We didn't love each other the way we needed to.  He wasn't my best friend.  Sometimes I don't even think he was my friend at all.  I could have probably worked a lot harder to "fix" what was broken, but it would have only been a temporary fix.  I hated myself for a long time after our demise, thinking I could have, should have, done more.  It wasn't until I found "the real thing" that I realized there wasn't anything I could have done that would have given us the marriage either of us deserved.  I'm sad that I "failed", but I'm also grateful because I now know exactly what I had needed all along, and he was well worth the wait.

He's so stinkin' hot.  Love him.

Because I know about that seemingly never ending cycle of being complacent in your love life, I know the importance of keeping things "fresh" and doing what you can to keep the spark alive.  Luckily for me, my man is very good with those things.  It's not always just me leaving little notes around the house or doing special things for him to show him how much I love and appreciate him.  He does it as well.  Last time I was sick, he picked the kids up from school, let me sleep all evening, made me my favorite "sick meal" of soup and grilled cheese, drew me up a bubble bath complete with candes and music, and just let me rest and relax.  How sweet is that?  Don't worry, he was rewarded graciously once I felt better.  Sometimes it's simpler things, like doing the dishes, or sending me a random text to say "I love you".  It is all equally important to me, and to him, and it keeps us going strong.

The frst time he took me to Christopher's World Grille for my birthday they brought me this and it completely surprised me!  Now I pretty much expect it each time, birthday or anniversary, but it is still just as sweet as the first time!

I have a never-ending list of things that I love about C, and things that I consciously do differently because of my past.  It probably helps that I'm much older and wiser (ok that part's debatable) now.  Either way, my past is what it is.  I'm lucky that C accepts me for who I am, flaws and all, and loves me despite my many imperfections.  I love that whether we are having a fancy dinner at our favorite restaurant or sitting at home in pj's playing dominoes, I can't get enough of him.  It doesn't matter where we are, as long as we're together.  Ugghh gag me with a spoon.

Mama likes to be in control!
I know some people will think this is puke-worthy.  I know some people will be thinking, "Just wait until you guys are married and see what happens" or "Wait until you've been together for 20+ years".  Yeah, I get it's not going to be all flaming rainbows from here on out.  But I've found the person I was meant to be with, and I will do anything to keep him around.  I'm not here to give relationship advice, I'm just sharing a few things that makes ours work.  I love this boy more than all the rice in China!

P.S. Here is something that I made that we use a lot.

He wrote that one :)

I wrote "I love you because..." on a piece of scrapbook paper and put it inside of a frame.  We use a dry erase marker to fill it in.  I write things and then put the frame on his dresser, and he does the same for me.  Sometimes we exchange it multiple times a week (whoa durty nelly) and sometimes we go weeks before we change it.  Either way, it's always a nice surprise to see it sitting on my dresser with something new written on it.  It's an easy way to say the things we sometimes forget to say.  You should give it a try!

So I wrote "I like making out with you! Muah!" and put it on his dresser,
then I found it back on mine with "read that!" He thinks he's getting away
with stealing my line and skipping his turn, wrong!! :)

Ok this just got way too sappy, so here are some inappropriate signs that I love but never have the balls to post on facebook because of prudes...which reminds me...I need to do some "cleaning" on my friends list...


Ahh this kills me!

Oh the P word.

Yall know it's true.

I'll show you what little girls are made of!

Can I get an Amen?!?

I have days like that constantly.

Everytime I read this I die. So effing funny.


The truth hurts.  Not really.

Have a fabulous weekend whoremongers!

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