Blah

So my day started with a Pre-K funny moment, and ended with a Mommy pissed off moment(s).  Let's start with the funny shall we?  I have this little guy in my class who is...let's just say...something else!  He's the cutest thing you've ever seen, but he's mean as hell and is very immature, especially socially.  Instead of saying, "I did this" or "I did that", everything is "Me this" "me that" or "him did this" "her did that".  I am a grammar nazi (except on here) and am constantly correcting my students, as well as my own children (much to their annoyance).  Every time the little guy starts with "Me..." I immediately interject with, "No, you need to say 'I'...".  At first he had no idea what I was talking about, then he started catching on, and now he's just sick of me butting in when he has something super important to tell me (like, "Me made you this playdoh, that looks like poop!").  This morning he was trying extremely hard to tell me a story about what him did at P.E. and when I started to say, "No, you need to say 'I'..." he promptly said, "NO MS. ROBOT, not YOU, MEEEE!!!"  Apparently he's tired of me hijacking his stories and making them about myself!  Baby steps :)

Now, for the pissed off mama part.  One of the twins had to go to the dentist today to have some work done.  We had a 5 o'clock appointment (which we did not choose), and of course were pretty much the last patients of the day.  The "assistant" that we got stuck with was no happier to be there helping than twin was to be having his mouth messed with.  He repeatedly reminded us how tired he was, how he was ready to go home, how hungry he was, and so on.  Every time the doctor asked him to do something, he moaned and groaned.  It was rude and inappropriate and I was irritated as hell that he was acting as if WE were putting him out by making him do HIS JOB.  The doctor was even less pleased with him.  The SOB wouldn't even get my child the stickers and toys the doctor requested after the procedure was done!  WTF!!  It was at that point that I lost it and promptly snatched my child up, told him to have a nice day and not work too hard, told the receptionist to make a note to NEVER let that piece of work be present during our visits again, and left.  What I really wanted to do was go off and use filthy inappropriate language, but then I would have stooped to his level of not keeping my mouth shut and being civil.  He's lucky my boys were with me. 

As if that wasn't enough, I had promised my guy we would get him a prize if he did well at the dentist (which he did, he took that shit like a champ and I was impressed because I would have been scared to death and crying if I had seen the crazy equipment he had).  So we stopped by the closest "dollar store", and of course as we're walking around, he has to pee.  I asked if he could hold it and he said yes for a minute, so we walked a little more.  I could tell he was walking like a cripple and was trying not to complain, so we attempted to locate the bathroom.  Apparently many people before us have abused the bathroom privileges at that store and they keep it locked, which meant we had to go find an employee.  And who do you think was working at that time?  Well of course it was Mr. Douche Bag Dental Assistant's sister!  She was far too busy on her cell phone to bother with us, so we waited, and waited, and waited some more.  She was taking her sweet time getting the key and pausing every few steps to make sure she had service on her phone, and I could tell the little one was hurting and we needed to get in that bathroom sooner than ASAP.  When she stopped for the seventh time, he looked up at me with the most pitiful look, and I knew it was about to happen.  Yup, he started pissing right there in the middle of the aisle.  And you know what?  I didn't give a &@#$! If that heifer had helped us as soon as we asked her to, it wouldn't have even been an issue.  I'm not gonna lie, I had that brief moment in my head just like on Bridesmaids when Lil is about to shit in the street and Annie is watching and says, "Ohhhh you're really doin' it aren't ya? You're shittin' in the street!" Lol but it wasn't because I was embarrassed, it was just because there was nothing I could do, and absolutely nothing he could have done.  After that brief funny moment, mama bear mode kicked in and I was done.  I got my boys, told the bitch to have fun cleaning up his mess that SHE caused, and we left.  I spent the thirty minute drive home making my son feel better and reassuring him that he did NOTHING wrong, which was a hard thing to do because he's 5 years old and accidents just don't "happen" around here anymore.  He's resilient though, and that new pop gun he got (because I'm awesome and always have extra toys stored away at home) has made everything better.

Sometimes people amaze me, and not in a good way.  I'm glad this day is over.  Glad my baby feels okay, despite his crappy afternoon.  And soooo glad tomorrow is Friday!

Mama bear's going into hibernation (aka locking the bathroom door, bubble bath, kindle, and wine).

First Day Frenzy

Yesterday was the first day of school for my twins, who are now in Kindergarten, and myself, in Pre-K.  It was what I like to call "organized chaos".  I was more than prepared for the fifteen little people that came through my door, but as always, there were the unexpected mishaps that came along with them.  We made it though, and all fifteen promised they were coming back to see me again today.  The twins had a great first day as Kindergarteners.  To quote them, it was, "The best day of our lives!"  I can't believe they are already in K, but I can't be too sad yet because they are right next door to me, and they stay in touch via the bathroom our two classes share!  They have been up since 6 a.m., dressed and ready to go for their second day, so I better wrap this up and get them to school so they won't miss anything!  Here are my (not so little) boys!

 



Over and out.

Chicka chicka bow wow

Just kidding, this isn't a dirty post. Maybe next time :) Over the years I have learned that if any book will get my pre-k kids laughing and out of a "funk", it is Chicka chicka boom boom.  They love it and it has saved me many times.  So this year I decided to pay homage to the silly chicka tree, and put one on the wall in my reading center.  It actually wasn't as difficult as I had expected.  I had my trusty book with me, drew out my plan, got my bulletin board and construction paper and got to cutting.  Our school doesn't have lower case die cuts, so I had to use capital letters, but it shouldn't be a problem with the kids!  Here is the final product!

 

 

My own kiddos told me it was "awesome", but think they should be able to climb it. Maybe the next one!

 

Have fun singing "chicka chicka boom boom" in your head all day hookers, I'm out! 



Meet the Lil' Monsters Night

After a long week of preparation, and still not having everything done, it was finally "Meet the Teacher" night at my school. I always hate these nights. The kids either act ridiculously crazy or hide behind their parents. Some parents bombard me with a series of questions that make me feel like I'm being interrogated. While others just stare at me waiting for me to say something interesting. Good luck with that. I have a large class this year, which is kind of scary because I don't even have enough seats for them all. But, as always, I will prevail. I will not be defeated by the kid who's Grandma told me to call her if he acts up and she'll bring her switch. Or the kid who ran from his mother (screaming his head off) and then kicked her when she told him to stop doing something. Nope, I'm the Queen of my classroom, and they will not conquer me! It's going to be an interesting year, but I'm ready. I plan to use my last few days of "freedom" to prepare for Monday morning when the fun begins! Here is a pic of the cute treats I gave to all of the little darlings tonight. (This idea and the template for the tags came from: http://www.teachingblogaddict.com/2012/03/teacher-feature-cupcake-for-teacher_04.html)

 

I'm exhausted. Good night!



Medical Misery

The past week and a half has been tough. Here's what's been going on, in a nutshell: My brother-n-law suffered a seizure, found out he has a brain tumor, and will be undergoing surgery to remove said tumor tomorrow morning. My son had a mishap on the plaground and fractured his collarbone. And I had to go back to work this week after a long, glorious summer and sit through ridiculous inservice while my mind has been anywhere but on what is being spewed at me. I swear today if that woman had said "data" one more time I was going to lose my shit. I'm trying hard not to be grumpy and feel defeated, as I know I need to be strong and on top of my prayer game for my family. Easier said than done. So, now it's time to get off my rear and hit my knees and let someone else carry this load so I can go and be the best sister and mama I can be.

Peace.

Kids Say The Damnedest Things

With the first day of school a little over a week away, I figured it might be a good idea to do some "reviewing" with the twins before they start kindergarten. We've done a few things over the summer to reinforce letter recognition and writing, but probably not near enough! So, they got out their little writing boards and we got to work. We got to letter "L" and after they wrote it, I asked them what sound it makes. They said the sound and then gave me a list of words that begin with "L". One of the words they said was "Lord". Immediately after they said it, they both, in unison, busted out singing, "The Lord loves a drinkin' man!" Now to some, that might seem offensive. But for those of you who live in Texas and know anything about Texas Country Music and/or Kevin Fowler, you know that is just funny right there. Would I recommend they use that song as an example in school? Absolutely not, and we discussed that. But as a mama who thinks my kids are pretty cute and am constantly entertained by the things they come up with, it was a perfectly acceptable example. And it made their daddy proud!

See ya later alligator!

Chair Makeover

I have two "teacher" chairs in my classroom; one at my desk, and one at my horseshoe table. Both were equally ugly and in desperate need of a makeover. So, I found some cute fabric, got my trusty staple gun, and went to work! Now, I've heard about some people taking the chair apart to recover it, but the way mine are put together, it wasn't necessary, which made my job even easier. I simply cut the fabric to size and got to stapling. It was a little challenging in the "curvy" parts of the chair, but I only said a few curse words, which in my book means it wasn't difficult at all :) Once I was done with the cute fabric, I got a piece of plain black fabric to cover up my unprofessional work in the back. The new covers can easily be taken off with no damage to the chair if I ever need to remove it.

Ugly Chair #1:

Ugly Chair #2:

I don't get to sit down often, but when I do, my rear will be welcomed by the cutest chairs ever!

May the force be with you.



Ballsack.

I saw this today, and my first thought was that I need this for my new teacher bag. Unfortunately, I'd probably get fired and more likely be accepted teaching at a prison rather than an elementary. I still need it.

Bahahaha :)



Organized art, kinda

I saw this super cute idea via pinterest (you're going to hear that a lot, so get used to it) and even though school hasn't started yet I knew I had to get it done! If you are a tad on the OCD side and a clean freak in your classroom (like me), you probably dread your Art Center as much as I do. It never fails that things get glued in inappropriate places, pom poms get scattered across the floor like furry little creatures, crayons spill, scissors stab, you get the picture. Art Center can turn into a hot mess in 2.5 seconds flat if you aren't careful (and sometimes even if you are). Once I saw this little "art organizer", I knew I had found my savior.

So, here's what I had to get: 1. Muffin pan 2. Metal pencil holders (found at Dollar Tree, my favorite store). BUT you can use plastic cups, the original idea I saw had clear cups and that is what I planned to use, until I saw the cute metal holders and had to have them. I have no self control. 3. (This is optional) Magnets to glue under cups to hold them in muffin pan and to keep cups from tipping. Next, just fill your cups with whatever art supplies you want out that day/week! I put scissors, glue, markers, crayons, stickers and pom poms to begin. I plan to put a variety of other supplies as the year goes on, those are just the simple items I'm starting with. I haven't put this little organizer to the test yet, but it's super cute, and will no doubt save time, space, and hopefully unneccessary cleanups!

I realize that just because my art supplies are so wonderfully organized does NOT mean that my kids are going to be mess-free. My hope is just that as they learn about cleaning, responsibility, and organization that they will take their time and take care of our supplies. We shall see! Happy (organized) art time!

Holla! 

And so it begins...

For a while now I have been browsing the world wide internets and have come across a plethora of interesting blogs from moms and teachers (thanks pinterest) that have entertained me quite a bit. I have found myself laughing at some, crying at others, and on rare occasions, clicking the X in the corner as fast as possible. I have seen myself in many of the women whose lives I have become entangled in while reading their posts. I have been inspired by many of the wonderful recipes and crafty ideas I have come across on other people's blogs. I have also come to realize that I too have things I would love to share with others. So, I decided to start my own blog. Now, I'm not the craftiest of crafters. I'm not the world's greatest mom. I'm not the most organized or perkiest pre-k teacher out there. And I'm certainly no Betty Crocker in the kitchen. But, I do love my kids, my job, being creative, and trying new things. I figure that's a pretty good start and hopefully through this blog I will not only be able to inspire others who sometimes feel like 2% ers like myself, but maybe I'll keep myself inspired as well.

Now, you need to know a few things about me before you decide to keep visiting this blog. 1. I have a tendency to be extremely sarcastic. Sometimes I don't even know if I'm being facetious or being for real. So please do not take offense to my sarcastic tones, it's just me being, well, me. 2. I'm not a member of the lollipop guild, therefore my outlook is not always sweet and I can be cynical sometimes. It's just what I do. 3. I have a tendency to cuss like a sailor. If you don't like that, well, I'll spare you the @$#! on this one :) 4. I'm all about keeping it real, hence the title of this blog. I can't stand when people act like something they're not. I can't stand when people aren't real about who they are and what is going on in their life. If I'm having a bad day, you will know. If I'm shitting rainbows, you will know. 5. I'm new to this blogging thing so my page may take on several different appearances before I decide what I like. It may be a scrambled mess sometimes. But, I'm going to do my best to make it as fabulous as possible. 6. I hope you will stick around and learn more about me and my crazy beautiful life.

Holla!