The Click

Alright yall. I did it. I completed the 10 day cleanse. And no boyfriend or child was harmed. I'm going to tell you now that this is going to be the most bipolar post ever. I'm having mixed feelings about my results, as you are about to read. Don't say you weren't warned.

As of this morning, I am down 5 pounds. Now, I know that 5 pounds in 10 days is nothing to complain about. I am excited to have those 5 pesky pounds gone. And 5 pounds in 10 days is more than I have lost in a long, long time. However, as a human being, and more specifically a woman, who compares myself to others (even though I know I shouldn't), I had gotten my hopes up that I would lose 7+ pounds, because that's what everyone else was losing. Spare me the lecture, I know everyone's body is different and blah blah blah. But it sucked not to see more. End of whining.

While the number on the scale was not what I wanted to see, I am not disappointed due to lack of commitment to the cleanse. For once in my life, I actually followed the rules. Ok, that's not totally true. Saturday after the baseball game the boys had McDonald's and I ate a french fry. Yeah, AH fry. As in one. Uno. I consider the fact that I didn't scarf down both of their fries, Kutter's cheeseburger and Kason's nuggets, and their Dr. Peppers, a huge effing win. Usually when I get a whiff of McD's fries, I lose all my senses and indulge myself until I'm in a greasy salty coma. So, besides that one fry, I was good. And not only was my eating perfect, I was in the gym 8 out of the 10 days. For at least an hour each day, sometimes more. I've been doing the arm workout that Mama Laughlin posted, and I had started C25K a few weeks ago. There were a few days that I actually did the C25K TWICE. TWICE people.



For real, I went up 3-5 pounds in each exercise of my arm circuit this week.


The first day that I finished my arm circuit, squats, and C25K, was drenched in sweat, and thought, "Hey, I'm not THAT tired, why not do this AGAIN?" was the moment that I felt/heard the "click". The click I've been waiting on for the majority of my adult life. The day I was sitting at work and instead of giving myself an anxiety attack thinking about everything I needed to do when I got off AND work out, and I made my plans to revolve AROUND working out, I heard that click again. Yesterday, when I turned down an invite to go have drinks and food at my favorite Mexican restaurant with my co-workers, so that I could work out and finish strong on the cleanse, that click damn near deafened me.  I've been at this weight loss thing for a while now, and while I've been thinking all along that it was important to me, I realize now that I wasn't making it a priority. I used to hate those signs that said "If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." I hated them because I knew they were true, and I knew that I was still in "excuse" mode. I was able to juggle my job, my kids, and all of my other responsiblities, as well as working out, throughout the entire cleanse. There's no reason for me to stop now.



Some other non-scale victories are that...My clothes are fitting better. My tummy is getting flatter (if you consider rolls being less bulgy flatter). My arms are getting those fun little indentions we all love to see when we flex. My legs are getting stronger and have less jiggle and more muscle. I've learned the difference between eating when I'm hungry, and eating when I'm bored. I've learned how to eat until I'm satisfied, and not until I'm so full that I'm miserable. It doesn't matter what our parents used to say about starving children in Africa. It IS ok to have food still left on your plate at the end of your meal. Does this mean that I'm never going to snack again? Nope. Does this mean I  won't partake in a delicious meal and some delicious beverages when we go to Gruene this weekend? Absolutely not. But I'll be more aware of what I put in my mouth and how much twss. 




So, did I get everything I hoped for out of the cleanse? No. I got more. Even though I'm not thrilled with the amount that I lost, I am thrilled at the insight I gained and at the strength I found in myself. I plan on following as many of the cleanse "guidelines" as I can on a regular basis. And in a few months, I may do the cleanse again. So there you have it folks! P.S. As I type this, I'm wearing a medium t-shirt and a new pair of 9/10 capris and I feel amazing in them :) Holla!